Representative Expression

Sure am going to miss the guy… (for all the wrong reasons).

Still, I expect there is bound to be more fun ahead with 'Obi'

The following gave me a chuckle, and given the large number of Twitter accounts I run/manage, I was glad to see that no names were mentioned. It’s probably the one and only time I’m glad not to be mentioned in a tweet/post.

I must give credit to Ike Pigott (@ikepigott) for the idea of a "Top 10 People to Unfollow" list.  Although I can easily think of several individuals I’d like to place on this list, I figured it would be too mean to actually call them out by name (and possibly result in a libel suit).  So the list below contains ten archetypes that I’ve noticed on Twitter.

From the post “Top 10 List of People to Unfollow on Twitter” on the blog by Shannon Whitley.

I’m hoping I’ve never fallen into any of those categories, though looking at my main “personal” Twitter account, one or two (erm, try most) are getting pretty close to another Top 10 reason category of “Too Drab to be of any interest”.

Pop over to Shannon’s site and add any categories you can think of to the comments on that post.

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I herd ;) it once, now you lot can suffer

So how many friends do you have on Facebook?

A Southampton licensee is hoping to get round the smoking ban by declaring his pub is ‘foreign soil’.

Source: http://www.morningadvertiser.co.uk/news_detail.asp...

This article made me laugh, quite a novel idea to try and get round the upcoming smoking ban.

By declaring his pub as an Embassy, it would be classed as foreign soil, and therefore not covered by UK law.  Does that mean that all his drinks would be tax free too?

 A later article does quote a British Foreign Office official as saying:

Redonda is a territory of Antigua and Barbuda, and so is not entitled to an embassy.

Shame... Apparently he does have some other tricks up his sleeve.

http://www.antigua-barbuda.org/

 I just might and find some space on the beach in Antigua and smoke instead. Not sure if it would be legal though ;)  (And I'm not talking about a law forbidding smoking in public places either).

TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson has been criticized by the media watchdog Ofcom for using a term which was "capable of giving offence to homosexual people".

Ofcom said there was "no justification for using the word in this way".

Last year, he was cleared of making a racist slur about Germany because this was adjudged to be amusing rather than offensive.

From: Clarkson rapped over 'gay' jibe | BBC News

Now Ok, let me get this right...
You can't make jokes about homosexual people, because that is offensive.
But you can make jokes about the Germans, because that is funny?

Now I know some homosexuals would have found his comment funny.
I also know some Germans who would have found his comments offensive.

So just how did Ofcom determine which was right and which was wrong...
Either you allow some people to be offended or none at all.
You can't have one rule for one lot, and another rule for the others.

Do you think it has something to do with the fact that the head of OfCom is called "Manfred Von PenisTrappen" ?
Ok, maybe not... but please... let's have it one way or the other..
Plus, it's Jeremy Bloody Clarkson for godsake, you can't take anything he says seriously unless it's the technical specs of a car he's describing...

There must be a lot of gay people in the Green party that objected just for the fact it was Mr. Clarkson, and I guess that also means there can't be many Germans.

PC gone mad...

I don't care either way.  Personally I don't take offense at either remark (because funnily enough, I'm not gay and I'm not German).

Homophobia = bad.
Racism = good.

So I can't say "that car handled a tadge limp-wristed", but I can say "it had more holes in it that the German Army at Dunkirk and the 1966 German World Cup Squad defense"....

I should start a petition to get all Germans to contact Ofcom and complain.
Bloody ridiculous and a waste of bloody money.

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new hires in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.
4. Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in information technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in strategic planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.
Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government

Four-legged duckling shocks owner

The mutation is rare but cases have been recorded elsewhere

An ugly duckling has made waves on a farm - when he was born with four legs.

A rare mutation has left eight-day-old Stumpy with two extra legs behind the two he moves around on.

Owner Nicky Janaway, of Warrawee Duck Farm in the New Forest, Hampshire, said she was gobsmacked when she turned Stumpy over to check his sex.

"It was absolutely bizarre. I was thinking 'he's got too many legs' and I kept counting: One, two, three, four,'" she said.

From the BBC News Website.

Go visit the Duck Farm website.

Hmm, a four legged duck eh? The farm is down in the New Forest and I didn't think there was any nuclear power stations down there.
They did have a nuclear sub dock in Southampton a few months back.
Apparently it happens quite often, but it still doesn't sound right.

Reminds me of an old story ;)

I used to have an uncle who had a farm.  I went to visit him one day and as I was walking up the track I spotted what I thought was a four legged chicken.
When I got the the farm yard I spotted my uncle and went over to greet him. 
"Here", I said, "I'm sure I just spotted a four legged chicken in the field back there.
"Eye", he says, "I've been breeding them for a few months now".
"Why?", I said.
"Well there is me, your aunt and your two cousins and we all like the leg of chicken when it comes to Sunday roast".
"Great", said I, "what do they taste like?".
He replied, "God knows, I've never been able to catch one".

The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:

• 1. Bozone (n.) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating.
• 2. Cashtration (n.) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
• 3. Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
• 4. Sarchasm (n) The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
• 5. Inoculatte (v) To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
• 6. Hipatitis (n) Terminal coolness.
• 7. Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
• 8. Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
• 9. Decafalon (n.) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
• 10. Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
• 11. Dopeler effect (n) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
• 12. Arachnoleptic fit (n.) The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
• 13. Beelzebug (n.) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
• 14. Caterpallor (n.) The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

• Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an a-hole.

Damn, it's taken years for me to get the last song out of my head and now there is a new one? It'll be even worse if my kids find out...

http://www.NewNuma.com Gary Brolsma, the Numa Numa Guy, is back in his return video: New Numa! With the video comes a $45,000 worldwide New Numa contest where you can make your own New Numa video for a chance at the Grand Prize of $25,000 cash and a whole lot of internet fame!

Go to http://www.NewNuma.com to enter the contest, chat with Gary, check out the New Numa music and new music by Dan Balan (the producer/songwriter of Dragostea din Tei, the original numa numa!) Most importantly: Don't forget to laugh and have fun!! ... (more)

Try the link above to see a new take on the Llama song...

Now I know this is way back from June (during the World Cup, but I only found it today and it reminded me of something similar which I must get written down on here. At least these guys managed to find their car.

England fans stranded in one way street

Two English football fans in Cologne lost their car after mistakenly thinking they had parked it on a road called 'One Way Street'.

The pair wrote down 'Einbahn Strasse' - which means one-way street in German - so they didn't forget where they'd left the hire car.

But when they came to find it again they found that every second street in the inner city was called 'Einbahn Strasse'.

It was only when they found a policeman that they were told the sign was to inform drivers that they were on a one-way street.

They finally managed to find their vehicle hours later with the help of the German police.

An old one from YouTube...

To understand this, you have to think back to the last game of the season between West Ham and Tottenham, when 10 of the Tottenham team went down with food poisoning

Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel.
They say it's only for the Christmas period

I wonder what they are trying to say?

I found a link to this from a blogger (Ashley) who posted a question to the Yahoo Blogger Help Forum (Here ).

If you click http://mysticalball.com/ or the link above it will open the site in a new window.

I won't spoil it for those who don't know how it works yet, but if you are interested, I'll probably make a new post revealing all.
It is not as difficult as you think... I'll delay any commenters posting the solution for a while just in case you post and wonder why it never appeared. Can't be spoiling peoples fun just yet.

And no, it doesn't install a key logger on your machine, it doesn't use your webcam to see which ones you are looking at, and no it doesn't rely on you holding the mouse of the number you will choose. Shout out to someone else in the room to pick a number for you, and then you do the maths ;)
It will still work.

The date of the Time Travelling Convention has finally been announced. It will occur two weeks ago.

A newly married Romanian farmer fractured his penis after ogling his young wife while carrying a heavy sack of grain.
Farmer Gheorghe Popa, 52, from Galati, had been moving the grain sacks to the barn when he stopped to watch his 25-year-old wife Loredana hang up the washing.
He got himself over excited and dropped the sack on his erect penis, snapping vital tendons and ligaments.
Doctor Nicolae Bacalbasa said: "It was a bizarre accident, and he was in a lot of pain.
"We have done what we can for him but he may never regain use of the organ again, at least for sexual purposes."

You can read the article here at Ananova.
Me personally, I am off to get a tishue to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Talking about holidays/vacation, here is somewhere I won't be going.

Will the person who stole my step ladder yesterday please return item forthwith or further steps will be taken.

I happened across this peach of a comment on this webiste.

"The most secure computer in the world is one not connected to the internet. Thats why I recommend Charter Cable."

The english version would of course have Charter Cable replaced by BT Internet. As a former customer of Charter whilst in the US, I can totally relate to that statement. One of those funny "truisms"...

I've been reading that this is to be released in its own right, but not too sure about how they would do that when it is already in the public domain

Either way, if that bloody annoying Frog can get to number one in the charts because of download popularity, I can't see why this version would not also be at number one for the same reason. It probably would have been number one for many weeks now if only they had a method of counting the number of downloads, or views, but thats isn't feasible for something like this.

But, this has to be the best parody of a song I have seen by far. Percy has gone up in my 'RN' eyes.

You'll never break the spirit of the British Soldier. The worlds best fighting force. We just don't go round using it at the drop of a hat (well, not anymore since we stopped empire building that is).

I played a game of golf yesterday.
Out of 18 holes, hit only two good balls,and that was when I stepped on a rake.

My wife came home from work today and told me that someone had stolen her credit card.
I've decided not to report it missing because the thief is spending less than she does

;)

Best quote of the day I've heard so far:

"I knew it was going to be a German pope when I saw that bloody great beach towel being hung over the balcony".

(Its an english/german joke).