One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money.
Finally, when Stumpy and Martha are both about 70 years old, Stumpy looks to Martha, and says, "Martha, I'm 70 now, and I don´t know if I'll ever get the chance again, so I just have to have a ride in that there airplane." Martha replies in the same old fashion, and Stumpy kind of slumps down. The pilot is standing near by and overhears the conversation... The pilot pipes up, "Excuse me folks, I couldn't´ help but hear your situation, and I have a deal for you. I´ll take both of you up together, and if you can both make the entire trip without saying a word, or even making the slightest sound, I´ll give the ride for free. But if either of you make a sound, its $10 each." Well, Martha and Stumpy look at each other, and agree to take the ride. The pilot takes them up, and starts to do loop de loops, twists, dives, climbs and spins. No sound. The pilot lands the plane, looks back at Stumpy and says, "Sir, I have to hand it to ya, you didn't´make even the slightest sound and that was my best stuff." Stumpy looks back at the pilot and says, "Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but $10 is $10!"Labels: General, Men vs Women, money, Old Men
¶ 9/05/2007 11:37:00 AM
When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her,"but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars."
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much smarter than men.
Labels: men, Men vs Women, money, Old Men, Wise, Women
¶ 8/23/2007 08:23:00 PM A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His
business was failing, he had put everything he had
into the business, he owed everybody-- it was so bad
he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort
he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears
and woe.
When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what
I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in
your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach
chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the
beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the
Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open
Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the
page and read the first thing you see. That will be your
answer, that will tell you what to do."
A year later the businessman went back to the priest
and brought his wife and children with him. The man
was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink
coat, the children shining.
The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with
money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a
donation in thanks for his advice.
The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious.
"You did as I suggested?" he asked.
"Absolutely," replied the businessman.
"You went to the beach?"
"Absolutely."
"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"
"Absolutely."
"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"
"Absolutely."
"And what were the first words you saw?"
"Chapter 11."
Labels: financial, hope, money, prayer, religion, US
¶ 7/05/2007 08:04:00 AM 
