'Tickling the Bone'
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Greek and Italian
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon" The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians" The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire"
...and so on and so on ...
and then The Greek says: "We invented 'true' sex"
The Italian says, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women..." ¶ 10/05/2006 08:18:00 PM
A Greek and Italian were sitting down one day debating who had the superior culture.
The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon" The Italian says, "We have the Colosseum"
The Greek says, "We had great Mathematicians" The Italian says, "We had the Roman Empire"
...and so on and so on ...
and then The Greek says: "We invented 'true' sex"
The Italian says, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women..." ¶ 10/05/2006 08:18:00 PM
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Condoms
A man walks into a drug store with his 9-year old son. They happen to walk
by the condom display, and the boy (who obviously knows the answer, but
wants to know if his dad will give him a proper answer or not) asks, "What
are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are
called condoms, son....Men use them to have safe sex." Oh I see," replied
the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He
looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there
3 in this package." The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One
for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He
notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college
boys." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for
Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking
up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One
for January, one for February, one for March........" ¶ 10/03/2006 01:56:00 PM
A man walks into a drug store with his 9-year old son. They happen to walk
by the condom display, and the boy (who obviously knows the answer, but
wants to know if his dad will give him a proper answer or not) asks, "What
are these, Dad?" To which the man matter-of-factly replies, "Those are
called condoms, son....Men use them to have safe sex." Oh I see," replied
the boys pensively. "Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school." He
looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks, "Why are there
3 in this package." The Dad replies, "Those are for high school boys. One
for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday." "Cool!" says the boy. He
notices a 6 pack and asks, "Then who are these for?" "Those are for college
boys." the dad answers, "TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for
Sunday." "WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks, picking
up a 12 pack. With a sigh, the dad replied, "Those are for married men. One
for January, one for February, one for March........" ¶ 10/03/2006 01:56:00 PM
Young Son Growing Up...
A man and his young son are walking in the country when they pass a field of cows, the kid says 'look daddy, moo cows!' Dad says, 'You are a bit old to be calling them that, they are just a herd of cows'
Soon they come to a railway and a train passes by, little boy says 'look daddy, choo choo train!' The dad sighs and tells the boy to speak with more maturity.
Later that evening dad finds his son reading a book - 'hey son, what are you reading?' says dad. The boy looks at the cover and says 'Winnie the Shit' ¶ 10/03/2006 01:51:00 PM
A man and his young son are walking in the country when they pass a field of cows, the kid says 'look daddy, moo cows!' Dad says, 'You are a bit old to be calling them that, they are just a herd of cows'
Soon they come to a railway and a train passes by, little boy says 'look daddy, choo choo train!' The dad sighs and tells the boy to speak with more maturity.
Later that evening dad finds his son reading a book - 'hey son, what are you reading?' says dad. The boy looks at the cover and says 'Winnie the Shit' ¶ 10/03/2006 01:51:00 PM
Girl walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one.
Girl walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one. ¶ 10/03/2006 01:49:00 PM
Girl walks into a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre, so he gave her one. ¶ 10/03/2006 01:49:00 PM
Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital
Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital. Towards the end of his visit, he is taken onto a ward of people with no obvious signs of injury. He greets the first patient and the chap replies:
"Fair fa' you honest sonsie face,
Great Chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thaim,
Weel are ye Wordy o'a grace,
As lang's my arm."
Tony, being somewhat confused, just grins, moves on to the next patient and greets him. He replies:
"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some hae nane that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thank it."
Even more confused, but trying not to show it, Tony moves on to the third patient, who immediately begins to declaim,
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickering brattle!"
Alarmed, Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and demands an explanation: "What sort of ward is this, a mental ward?"
"No", replies the doctor.
Wait for it....
"This is the Serious Burns Unit." ¶ 10/03/2006 01:48:00 PM
Prime Minister, Tony Blair, is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital. Towards the end of his visit, he is taken onto a ward of people with no obvious signs of injury. He greets the first patient and the chap replies:
"Fair fa' you honest sonsie face,
Great Chieftain e' the puddin' race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thaim,
Weel are ye Wordy o'a grace,
As lang's my arm."
Tony, being somewhat confused, just grins, moves on to the next patient and greets him. He replies:
"Some hae meat, and canna eat,
And some hae nane that want it,
But we hae meat and we can eat,
And sae the Lord be thank it."
Even more confused, but trying not to show it, Tony moves on to the third patient, who immediately begins to declaim,
"Wee sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie,
O, what a panic's in thy breastie!
Thou need na start awa sae hasty,
Wi bickering brattle!"
Alarmed, Tony turns to the doctor accompanying him and demands an explanation: "What sort of ward is this, a mental ward?"
"No", replies the doctor.
Wait for it....
"This is the Serious Burns Unit." ¶ 10/03/2006 01:48:00 PM
