Zovitzki or Petry Syndrome
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
One of the students said to his friend: "I'm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."
Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him: "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said: "I'll tell you, but first you must tell me what you think."
One of the students said: "I think it's Petry Syndrome."
The old man said: "You thought.......... but you are wrong."
Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome."
The old man said: "You thought.......... but you are wrong.
So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"
The old man said: "I thought it was GAS........... but I was wrong  ¶ 8/30/2006 12:41:00 PM

  Snake on a Plane
  ¶ 8/18/2006 02:14:00 PM

  13 Reasons to Smile!

• Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my OWN pants.
• Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
• I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said “Implants?" She hit me.
• How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
• A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
• I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
• When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
• Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
• Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
• Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
• Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"
• And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

  ¶ 8/10/2006 10:27:00 PM

  Dog Tales
I have a Labrador/Akita mix and a smaller Heinze Variety type dog and was buying a large bag of Purina at the local store the other day.
I was waiting in the check-out line when the woman behind me saw the 30 pound bag in my trolley and asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her no. I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time. But, I had lost 75 pounds once before, and felt I needed to shed
some 20 pounds I seemed to have gained again. Last time, however, I did
awaken in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my
orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is you drink at least eight 12oz. glasses of water a day and
just load your trouser pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or
two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.
So, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
Horrified, she askedme if it was the cause of my hospital stay or if I'd been
poisoned. I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls
and a car hit me.
The tall guy, standing behind the fat guy, nearly had to stagger out of
the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. The lady who had asked me if I
had a dog, just stood and glared at me, never smiling, until I paid the
bill and left. But I saw a lot of happy people in the line behind me and
a lot of smiles. I guess it was a good day!  ¶ 8/01/2006 01:05:00 AM