Limp Duck Tale
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest.
After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so
sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure"?
"Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead," he replied.
"How can you be so sure"? She protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever.
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind
legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck
from top to bottom.
He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet
patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a
cat.
The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird
from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head,
meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100 percent certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and
produced a bill, which he handed to the woman.
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried.
"$150 just to tell me my duck is dead"?
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been $20, but with the lab report and the cat scan, it's now
$150."  ¶ 7/25/2006 08:10:00 PM

  Weird and Wonderful Site Names
All of these are legitimate companies dealing in regular products and services, but they didn't think their domain names through!
Take note of their 'Domain Names'! Some of them are prime candidates for the "What was
I thinking?" Award!
ALL of these websites actually exist, selling something totally benign, (and work - safe, in case
you're wondering).

1). A site called 'Who represents' where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name is: www.whorepresents.com

2). 'Experts Exchange', a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at: www.expertsexchange.com

3). Looking for a pen? Look no further than 'Pen Island' at: www.penisland.net

4). Need a 'therapist'? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com

5). Then of course, there's the 'Italian Power Generator Company' - www.powergenitalia.com

6). And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery,
based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com

7). If you're looking for computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

8). Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com

9). Then, of course, there's these brainless art designers, and their wacky website: www.speedofartcom

10). Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at: www.gotahoe.com  ¶ 7/25/2006 10:13:00 AM

  Anniversary Gift
Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really
pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway
that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE".

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a small box gift-
wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe, ran out to the driveway and brought
the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom
scale.

Funeral services for Ed have been scheduled for Friday.  ¶ 7/25/2006 10:12:00 AM