Tuesday, May 08, 2007
One Liners #3
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director & I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road"
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.
I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?" He said, "He's not your type." I said "How about Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow.
¶ 5/08/2007 04:40:00 PM
I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director & I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened. I said "I careered off the road"
I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny you couldn't swing a cat in there.
I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.
I bought a train ticket and the driver said "Eurostar" I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The Elephant Man?" He said, "He's not your type." I said "How about Batman Forever?" He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow.
¶ 5/08/2007 04:40:00 PM
