Two Guys in a bar: "Mike is Dead"
One says "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead!"

" Wooo, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and
when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly
and boom - He hit the pavement and the car flips up and he
crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and
smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all.
So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all
covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the
big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches
up for the handle to try to pull himself up.
He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive
wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him
and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that.
He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls
out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on
the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks
and he goes falling down on to the first floor.
In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall
on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that.
So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen.
He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the
cooker, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh,
the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he survived that !
He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and
he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call
for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls
the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity
didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts
shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that, he ..."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."  ¶ 3/14/2006 02:17:00 PM