Thursday, January 26, 2006
Why Women Scream
One day, the Lord decided to make a companion for Adam. He summoned St. Peter and told him of his decision. He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure. The Lord said he would call this being a woman.
So St. Peter went about creating this being which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.
"Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job," said The Lord.
"Thank You, Great One," replied St. Peter. "I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to the being, this .. woman. I require your assistance on this matter, Lord."
"You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's," said The Lord.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I put in her hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam? asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The Lord.
"And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?" inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Seventy five, my Lord," replied St. Peter. "
Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet, so they benefit from having less nerve endings there. Do the same for woman," said the Lord.
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals?" inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Four hundred and twenty, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman," said The Lord.
"Yes, my Lord," said St. Peter.
"No, wait," said The Lord.
"Screw it, give her ten thousand! I want her to scream my name!" ¶ 1/26/2006 10:57:00 PM
One day, the Lord decided to make a companion for Adam. He summoned St. Peter and told him of his decision. He told St. Peter that he wanted to make a being who was similar to man, yet was different, and could offer him comfort, companionship and pleasure. The Lord said he would call this being a woman.
So St. Peter went about creating this being which was similar to man yet was different in ways that would be appealing and could provide physical pleasure to man. When St. Peter had finished creating this being who could now be called woman he summoned The Lord.
"Ah, St. Peter, once again you have done an excellent job," said The Lord.
"Thank You, Great One," replied St. Peter. "I am now ready to provide the brain, nerve endings and senses to the being, this .. woman. I require your assistance on this matter, Lord."
"You shall make her brain, slightly smaller, yet more intuitive, more feeling, more compassionate, and more adaptable than man's," said The Lord.
"The nerve endings," said St. Peter. "How many will I put in her hands?"
"How many did we put in Adam? asked The Lord.
"Two hundred, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Then we shall do the same for this woman," said The Lord.
"And how many nerve endings shall we put in her feet?" inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Seventy five, my Lord," replied St. Peter. "
Ah yes, these beings are constantly on their feet, so they benefit from having less nerve endings there. Do the same for woman," said the Lord.
"How many nerve endings should we put in woman's genitals?" inquired St. Peter.
"How many did we put in Adam?" asked The Lord.
"Four hundred and twenty, my Lord," replied St. Peter.
"Of course, we did want Adam to have a means of receiving extra pleasure in his life, didn't we? Do the same for woman," said The Lord.
"Yes, my Lord," said St. Peter.
"No, wait," said The Lord.
"Screw it, give her ten thousand! I want her to scream my name!" ¶ 1/26/2006 10:57:00 PM
