Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Today's Stock Market Report
Helium was up
Feathers were down
Paper was stationary
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading
Knives were up sharply
Cows steered into a bull market
Pencils lost a few points
Elevators rose
Escalators continued their slow decline
Light switches were off
Mining equipment hit rock bottom
Diapers remained unchanged
The market for raisins dried up
Coco Cola fizzled
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit
Balloon prices were inflated
And, Scott tissue touched a new bottom
