Thursday, August 18, 2005
Corporate Lessons
Corporate Lessons 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop
that towel" After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
It was Bob the next door neighbor,"she replies. "Great!"
the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 He owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to Credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, Forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry
sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory"
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie says, " I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!"
says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world. "Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the
sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. "Poof!
He's gone. "OK, you're up, "the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow,
and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very high up. ¶ 8/18/2005 04:39:00 PM
Corporate Lessons 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel
and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next
door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop
that towel" After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and
stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800
dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back
upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"
It was Bob the next door neighbor,"she replies. "Great!"
the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 He owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to Credit
and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent
avoidable exposure.
Corporate Lesson 2:
A priest offered a lift to a Nun. She got in and crossed her legs, Forcing
her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun
said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once
again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry
sister but the flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her
way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, "Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory"
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss
a great opportunity.
Corporate Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The
Genie says, " I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!"
says the admin. clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world. "Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the
sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life. "Poof!
He's gone. "OK, you're up, "the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
"I want those two back in the office after lunch."
Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson 4:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow,
and rested. A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting
very high up. ¶ 8/18/2005 04:39:00 PM
